In the windowless basement amongst the brown and orange carpet was a wooden play fridge and stove. A pink doll bassinet was sitting nearby along with the essentials to playing house. As I rocked my baby doll, for a mere few seconds, she was fast asleep for hours on end while I tended to other matters. I felt confident as the best mom ever.
As I child, I had expectations of how being a mom to real children would look. The kids would listen, play together nicely and always eat what I cooked for dinner.
The first night of being a real mom destroyed all my false expectations from childhood. The reality was quite different.
Never would I have dreamed about post-partum depression, anxiety or hormonal problems. And as far as the kids, they have been challenging in each season of motherhood.
I don’t know about you, but many days I question how I can do this?
Honestly, I’m a big mess.
I can’t be the Best Mom with my Past
I have lots of baggage from my past that affects my patience, the grace I extend and my confidence. There have been a few seasons in my life where I’ve struggled with anxiety and panic.
My greatest concern is my kids have witnessed my behavior or have inherited my defective genes.
How can I be a great Christian mom when I have so many issues within myself?
Some moms might feel like because of the shame and guilt of their past; they can’t overcome it, so they quit trying to be a good mom.
If we read statistics and reports, it doesn’t help that anxiety runs in families. The way we resolve conflict, talk to ourselves, and the habits we have could all have us feel like, “we are messing our kids up.”
Best Moms are Authentic
Here’s the thing, if we’re honest with our children, we can explain to them how broken and sinful we are. It’s not just us moms, but every human on this earth. We are all messy and falling apart.
Luckily, we have Jesus and His ability to change and transform us. We are work-in-progress moms.
I bet you can agree with me; I need Jesus every minute of my day.
My mess can become His message.Our kids don’t need to see perfect parents, but rather preserving parents who cling to their Savior. Click To Tweet
The only way any of us can be the best moms is because we have a great Savior.
What a great lesson we can model to our kids. All of us mess up every day. The admittance of mess-ups is real, authentic living in a sinful world. We can remove our masks of getting everything right and instead show our kids the grace God extends in our mistakes.
Could I become my kid’s best mom in spite of my many mistakes?
If God has hand-picked these kids for each of us, He knows where our strengths and weaknesses are. God uses everything to grow us and transform us into the person He created us to be. My conclusion is our kids can learn valuable lessons and habits from us when we are living a life of faith. Even with all of our messes and brokenness.
In my weaknesses, His strength showcased to my kids.
My mess is not a chronic disease, but rather the way God is making me better. Every little hard thing behinds on the other. Each is a step of growth and development.
8 Ways to Overcome your Mess with Jesus so you can be the Best Mom
- Forget the past; it won’t change.
- Learn from your mistakes
- Allow God to change you, don’t fight the process
- Trust God’s ways
- Lean on God by spending time in study and prayer
- When you stay tight with Jesus, we know He works things out for our good.
- Share your struggles with your kids
- Extend grace to them as Jesus extends grace to you.
I would love to teach my kids what to expect when they get older. My kids need real honesty about life. Not a sugar-coated version that won’t help when the hard times come, but an authentic model of how to survive when Jesus is present.
They are going to be broken and messy when they become parents, but I hope to point them to the one who can help them grow and develop. They can then teach their kids how weaknesses ultimately show others, Jesus.
Don’t miss the rest of the posts in this series, click here or on the image below, to get to the landing page.
She loves to read, eat chocolate, drink iced tea and spend time writing in the midst of messes.
You can find her blog at www.unmaskingthemess.com.