Biblical Encouragement For The Special Needs Mom

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Please know I am only sharing based on my personal experiences. I understand the care of a special needs child varies greatly. Today I hope to share some encouragement from God’s word to your heart as you make the best decisions you can for your individual parenting situation.

shared with the permission of my sweet daughter…

I sat on the floor next to her begging God to calm her spirit.

We were almost 2 hours into our daily bedtime battle. Tears streamed down my face as she continued. I had been roped into her nighttime rituals and I didn’t even know it yet.

The compulsive checking, counting, evenness testing and repeated words started once again.

Our other 4 children huddled in the other room trying to get to sleep despite the chaos.

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I had lost all hope.

There was no hope in the night ending by explaining away the OCD. My heart ached to reassure her and convince her that she didn’t “need” to do these things. That everything is really ok.

And then have her drift off to sleep.

But there is no rationalizing with OCD. She would continue until she wore herself out and finally crashed.

To watch it completely consume her devastated my heart.

I was left feeling totally overwhelmed, alone and hopeless. In no time the lies flooded my heart and I was felt like the worst Mother in the world.

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Your child’s special needs may look different than our daughter’s. In our family, we battle anxiety, OCD and ADHD.

But there is one thing that seems universal. Special Needs Mothers need encouragement!

As I talk with more and more moms of children with special needs, I see 3 lies that rise up again and again.

Today I want to help you fight back Biblically against those lies! I hope to give you some much-needed encouragement in being a Mom of a Special Needs Child.

Lie #1 You Are Alone

The enemy loves this lie in life and it is no different in special needs parenting. He wants to isolate us. To make us think we are alone and that no one else deals with what we do.

He wants us to think we can’t talk about our struggles. He tries all he can to make sure we don’t take our heaviest burdens to God and our other sisters in Christ.

Satan wants to ensure that we don’t tap into God’s strength. The strength that is needed each day to handle special needs parenting Biblically.

Truth #1 You Are NOT Alone

First (and most importantly ) God says He is with us! We are never alone in our struggles. We have a constant connection to the creator who is our help! Praying continuously and reading scripture that reminds us of this truth is crucial!

We also need to remember that we can (and should) seek out support! Other sisters in Christ can come alongside us and share our burdens. We can then also encourage them!

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God gives us a beautiful gift in fellowship. When we are in a place to freely share and pray for other Moms who struggle like us, it happens. Heart connections are made and we are reminded that God is working in all circumstances.

{And a special note for any of you who think you can’t reach out – please know this is coming from an introvert! So if I can be blessed by fellowship and community I know you can too!}

Check with your church or other local churches or community groups. If you can’t find support locally I know there is help online. There are lots of wonderful communities of Moms out there. Ones who are willing to pray for you and encourage you in your battle for Biblical Motherhood!

If you prefer to reach out to just one person, (I often do), please feel free to send me prayer requests. I would love to pray for you in it!

Here are some of my go-to verses to fight this lie with truth!

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Psalm 46:1

LORD, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.
Isaiah 33:2

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, for I myself will help you,’ declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
Isaiah 41:13-14

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.
Romans 8:38-39

The Lord your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.
Zephaniah 3:17

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Lie #2  I Can’t Handle This

Oh friend, I understand!

When we brought home our first baby girl I had concerns – ok, I was at a loss. There were doubts, fears and many moments where I thought I could never be a “good Mom”. But I had hope in the future built up to sustain me. If I could get past the first…  6 months, year etc all would be easier.

So I thought.

I would never have imagined stepping into the fight we face daily. It didn’t cross my mind that it would get incredibly more difficult – on many levels. I had no idea there were going to be devastating struggles that she wouldn’t “grow out of” or a phase that we couldn’t just “wait out”.

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How can you possibly prepare yourself? 

Who thinks of weekly “family trips” to appointments with doctors, therapists and testing. I had no way of knowing that the google nerd in me would be utilized in a whole new way.

Never did I think I would be able to bear the hurt of watching her battle. Or to see the effects of it on my other children’s faces.

But God.

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Truth #2 We Can By His Strength

He Knows.

He is in it. God knows us and our children better than we do. He knows exactly what we need when we need it. There are no what if’s with God.

He isn’t waiting on test results, making decisions on if/when to use medications or wondering if the latest therapy is going to work. He has known all of this since before they were born and He wants to help us!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11-13

Mom, please rest in that!

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God is Sovereign. He holds all in His hands. He is the reason you and I CAN!

Let us, therefore, come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:16

His strength is available to us, it is ours to claim through Christ. Don’t forget the power you have access to!

The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace.
Psalm 29:11

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
Isaiah 40:29

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Lie #3 We are Ruining Our Other Children

If you have more than one child, I don’t doubt this thought has weighed on your mind.

When you have a special needs child they take up more of your time. Often LOTS more of your time. You begin to notice (and possibly track) the things you put off with the others.

You see how they have to fend for themselves much more often than you thought would be. Their questions go unanswered and special time with them is put off. You see them hurt when they see their family hurting.

And then the mom guilt hovers like a dark cloud. Fears of ruining their hearts set in.

Truth #3 God Works ALL Things For Good

But Mom here is the truth.

If we believe God’s word, then we believe Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

God does not make mistakes. You are the best Mom for each of your children. He intentionally chose each child to be part of your family. He knew every situation beforehand. The Lord is working in each child, in all circumstances.

If you have been a believer for any length of time you know that spiritual growth often happens in times of trial. God can use these situations for spiritual growth and character building. In their lives as well as ours.

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I am a firm believer in parenting the heart and growing character in our children. Though I understand the challenge, I still believe this to be true in special needs parenting (as much as we are able). I have seen so much character growth in them that stemmed from these hard situations.

They have learned character traits of attentiveness, encouragement, discernment and flexibility. They truly know helpfulness, empathy, forgiveness and are continually growing in faith.

If I could have chosen, I would have had them learn in other ways, but God knows best.

If I don't acknowledge the good that He is doing out of the hard, then I am only diminishing His glory.

If I don’t acknowledge the good that He is doing out of the hard, then I am only diminishing His glory.

I can’t tell you the times, my kids have brought me to tears as they showered grace on me and my daughter after a long battle. I am so grateful that they love unconditionally.

Yes, we need to be intentional as best as we can to teach and build up each of our children. But you and I can’t do it all. We are called to do our best fueled by His strength and loaded with His grace in this journey we call Biblical Motherhood.

Keep fighting the good fight Mom! He will supply all our needs.

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19

I have created this printable for you. I want to encourage you to keep your focus on Christ! For access to this printable and all the other tools in our FREEBIES Hub – click here!

He Will Supply Printable Like Minded Musings

 

Please let me know your biggest struggle in special needs parenting. I would love to pray for you!

Talk to you soon!

Lee

O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul; You have redeemed my life. Lamentations 3:56

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