I am a boy mom.
I used to wonder why moms differentiated being a “boy” mom from just being a mom. But, having 2 sons (and another on the way, bless my heart) I totally understand why the difference.
Yes, I know how girls are. Like my friend and fellow boy mom said, “I am a girl, of course I know what they’re like”. I pity girl moms no doubt. But there’s something about those boys. The smells. Ugh. They’re never still. Like, ever. Their brains aren’t developed the same and they can’t focus like a girl. And they’re obsessed with their body parts in a way that most girls never experience. So while yes, I know girl mommin’ is hard, boy mom is a category all of its own.
One day, pondering why God gave me a third boy, I realized something: God needs soldiers. He needs men to be godly husbands and fathers. He needs men with backbones who aren't afraid to stand on the gospel. Click To Tweet Living here on earth is hard, getting harder by the day, and I cannot imagine what it will be like when my boys are grown. But I know this: God gave me a purpose. It might not be fame or glory. I might not quantify my accomplishments. But I am certain God called me to raise boys.
We are raising future husbands.
Moms, do we ever stop and think about the goal of parenting? Most days, I consider myself accomplished when my kids make it through the day alive, fed, and generally unharmed (due to the general nature of boys). But beyond that? I seldom stop to think that, hey, my son will one day be someone’s husband. And the thought scares me.
What will his future wife think? How will he be as a husband? Will she question my parenting skills daily, or think I did a wonderful job and grace me with a decent nursing home when that time comes?
Ladies, we are raising someone’s husband. And as much as I want to say to the girl moms to please make sure your daughter dresses appropriately, and teach her self-respect, I also need to remind myself about teaching my son. Chivalry isn’t dead, no matter what American society thinks. It’s still okay to hold a door open for someone or offer to lift a heavy item for a lady.
We have to make sure we teach our sons to speak to others with respect. And to be respectful of women. While I understand feminism has affected many men, we don’t have to let it affect our sons. We can still teach them to speak kindly. To not treat women as objects.
We are raising future fathers.
Yes, I know a lot of being a father is learned from the child’s father. But we, as mothers and wives, can reiterate certain qualities in our sons. We should not be afraid to let them play with a baby doll. It’s okay to teach them to care for another human being.
We can encourage our husbands to spend time with our sons. And single mom, you’ve got this. Maybe you can find a man in the church who would be willing to spend some time with your son, or a family member they can hang out with from time to time. Our boys need to see men being men. Men being decent fathers.
Most important, we need to teach our sons about the Heavenly Father. They should understand who He is, and His love. It isn’t until we accept God’s love (I don’t think we ever fully understand) that we can fully love others. Pray for your son. Make sure you encourage your son to walk with God.
How can we raise godly men in such an ungodly world?
I ask myself this all. the. time.
So many people today are confused about their gender. Their sexuality. Pornography destroys families at an astounding rate. How can we overcome this? What do we do to raise men to be men in a time like this? Especially when to even discuss such topics as potentially negative, how do we battle this?
Guarding against lust and sexual impurity is impossible when even TV commercials have scantily clad women and suggestive themes. Not only do women dress immodest, but their daughters aren’t taught any different, either. What I find even more heartbreaking is this happens in our churches.
How can we, as Christians, stand firm against Satan’s attacks on our children?
First and foremost, we have to know prayer is our best defense. While it might sound cliché, the very best thing we can do for our sons (any children!) is to pray for them. Ask God to protect them and to lead and guide them. Pray for their future spouse. Pray for their future children. Ask for His will for their life, and follow it to the best of your ability.
We pray, but what else?
It feels like we should DO something, or not do something, to effectively raise children. And while I’m certainly no expert, I do know a few things that help:
- Monitor what your children watch on TV. Seems easy enough, right? But even kids channels often show adult content. And not necessarily late at night, either. Some cartoons are even geared toward adults, but children do not realize that and watch innocently. Even children’s shows have hidden agendas or sly messages geared toward making something evil seem okay, or normal.
- Limit screen time. I know, I know. Learning apps are great. But. Little boys left alone with internet connected devices turn into curious teenage boys with internet access. Curious teen boys with raging hormones and unlimited internet access is a recipe for disaster. Remember those husbands we’re raising? We don’t want to contribute to any addictions later in life. Just sayin’.
- Something as simple as music can affect our kids. I changed my music habits when I had kids. I realized something that doesn’t seem so bad can have a profound impact on the little ears.
We obviously cannot protect our children from every evil thing. But we can teach them right from wrong. And when the opportunity arises, we can use that to teach about God’s love and how we want to be different from the world.
Be encouraged, Christian mama.
John 16:33 reminds us that we don’t have to fret these worldly circumstances: Jesus overcame. He overcame it all!
We have to keep a positive attitude. We cannot focus on all the negativity surrounding our children these days. What we can focus on is Jesus. We can surround ourselves with like-minded believers, strengthening each other on this journey of motherhood (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Find a group of moms to rely on for motherhood encouragement. We all struggle, and often with the same things. Knowing someone else understands helps encourage us in mighty ways.
Our sons are not perfect. Gasp! Yes, I just said that. None of our children are perfect, nor will they ever be perfect. They will make mistakes just like we did. At times, they mess up. Not every bad choice they make is a mom fail.
And though days come when you feel like you’re doing this whole parenting thing wrong, you’re not. When you care enough to worry about the outcome, there’s a good chance you’re doing something right.
Don’t miss the rest of the posts in this series, click here or on the image below, to get to the landing page.