Why You Need to Stop Trying to Be a Perfect Mom

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Why You Need to Stop Trying to Be a Perfect Mom

Are you tired of trying to be a perfect mom? Trying to be a perfect mom is exhausting! We keep comparing yourself with every other mom, trying to beat them in every way we can and still feeling like a failure. Worse than that, we are trying to compete with ourselves every day. This is exhausting!
If this is you too, I can guarantee you that you are not loving this motherhood thing right now. Your joy is gone and you just feel like a big loser. Your expectations of perfect motherhood are always failing you and you feel hopeless. I totally get it. I felt like a big failure for years as a mom but I finally got over the nonsense idea of even trying to be the everything mom, the perfect mom.

Here Is Why You Need to Stop Trying to Be a Perfect Mom:

You are not here to be perfect but to be perfected.

God created us for motherhood. He has blessed us and made us mothers. He never expected us to be perfect, instead, He is perfecting us daily through our motherhood journey. God desires for us is that we will more and more like Jesus every day and He uses our daily motherhood struggles to mold and shape our character.

Comparison is a joy killer.

One of the reasons we spend so much time and effort trying to be perfect is because we are comparing ourselves with other people! We are letting them set the standards for our lives instead of God. God loves you just the way you are! He thinks you are amazing! You’re kids think you are amazing. So stop comparing yourself, would you?

You are not 100% in control of the things that happen in your life.

In order to be a perfect mom, you need to live in a perfect world, with perfect children, a perfect husband,  perfect financial conditions, perfect relationships… So, no, this is not happening, is it? Not everything in under your control and in order to be a happy mom, you need to understand that. And the best way to deal with this is knowing that even though you don’t have control over everything, God does! And you can let go of control and find total rest in Him. You just need to say yes to the beautiful surrender of motherhood.

You need to quit your false expectations of motherhood.

Ask yourself what are your expectations of motherhood? Wonderful well behaved kids all the time? A perfectly clean house every day? Every day me time so you can function? Make a list! Then write on the side of each item if it is a real or unreal expectation.

When I was in Bible college, I worked as a nanny taking care of nine children for three wonderful families. After five years, doing this from 9-5 Monday to Friday, I thought motherhood was going to be a breeze and that I knew everything I needed to know by then – BIG mistake! I never had to spend 24/7 with those kids. Actually, I got to go home and sleep all night and still have a “life”. Well, motherhood is VERY different!

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I live 24/7 with my kids and I tell you that in order for me to homeschool them and keep my sanity, my expectations and priorities have changed! My relationship with them and their education come first. My house, well, let’s just say that is not my first priority. Don’t get me wrong, I love a clean and organized house but maintaining a perfectly clean house while teaching a first grader, a third grader and fourth grader all day is an unreal expectation. Oh, and forget about chasing homeschool perfection either!

A mom’s job is hard. Motherhood is full of surprises! We cannot predict what will happen during our days. As much as we want things to go perfectly the way we plan, life happens and we must learn to navigate through lives’ unexpected events without frustration and with realistic expectations.

Here is your first step to let go of false expectations:

Did you do the list I asked you to do? If you did, pause here for a few minutes and give it all to Jesus.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. - Matthew 11:28-30

Instead of Trying to Be the Perfect Mom, Here Is What You Really Should Be:

Be Yourself

You are fearfully and wonderfully made, dear friend! You are unique and you were chosen to be your child’s mother and that is such a blessing! So don’t try to be like someone else – be yourself! That mom that looks perfect every time you see her, is not! She also deals with issues like you do every day. We all do. Reality is: No one has it all together! No one is perfect – just Jesus!

Embrace who you are and yes, allow yourself to grow to be a better mom day after day as a natural process, not a competition.

Be a Prayer Warrior Mom

Our kids need a prayer warrior mom more than anything in this life. Praying for them will have a far greater effect on their lives than you trying to be a perfect mom. Instead, get on your knees and daily humble yourself in the presence of your Heavenly Father who is is in control of all things, who created you and your child, and is perfecting you daily.

Pray for their protection, declare the promises of God for their lives, start praying Biblical virtues for them and trust God for the outcome. Pray God’s Word over them! God’s Word never returns void but accomplishes everything it was sent to do (Isaiah 55:11).

There is nothing more powerful than a prayer warrior mom! I know it’s challenging to have time to read our Bibles and pray in the midst of our busy agendas, but spending time with God needs to be our number one priority. I created this Mom’s Bible Journal to help busy moms, like us, spend more time in God’s Word and in prayer.

Why You Need to Stop Trying to Be a Perfect Mom

Be a Present Mom

Nothing is better than having a mom that is fully present in our lives. Our kids desperately need moms who are fully focused and present in the moments we have with them. Unfortunately, in this world of hustle, multi-tasking, and high-tech distractions, we are forgetting how to be present and give our loved the time and the attention they so desperately need. We are wasting time on social media and forgetting to be social with our own family.

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Here are a few things you can in order to become a fully present mom:

  • Turn off your smartphone notifications. (No, you’re not going to die!)
  • Delete social media from your smartphone completely if this is highly distracting you and keeping you from doing the things that you really need to get done.
  • Or get rid of your smartphone altogether. I was so addicted to social media that I had to give it up for over a year so I could pay attention to my kids and get things done. (See, I didn’t die.) And here are 3 things I gained by giving up my smartphone.

I highly recommend you read Dear Mom, You Don’t Have to Live a Social Media-Worthy Life written by my friend Kay at Cultivate My Heart.

Mama, stop trying to be perfect! Instead, be yourself, be a praying mama, be fully… Click To Tweet

Ready to stop trying to be a perfect mom, find peace, regain your joy in motherhood, and give your children what they really need from you?

Dear more, just let go of perfection, would you? Embrace who you are and how much you love your child. Focus on spending time together, creating memories, being fully-present in your child’s life. Get on your knees, mama! Fight for your child in the spiritual realm and you will truly be a victorious s a mom.

I hope this post will bring you the encouragement you need to rest in your Heavenly Father’s arms and trust HIm to guide you every step of this beautiful motherhood journey, in Jesus’ name!

Books that Have Helped Me in My Motherhood Journey:

  • No More Perfect Moms
  • No More Perfect Kids
  • Becoming MomStrong
  • Hands-Free Mama
  • Present Over Perfect
  • The Five Love Languages of Children
  • The Best Yes
  • Having a Martha Home The Mary Way

Don’t miss the rest of the posts in this series, click here or on the image below, to get to the landing page.

Ana Willis

Ana Willis

Ana is first and foremost a follower of Jesus, a mommy to three amazing kiddos that keep me on my toes, a wife to my husband of almost 10 years, a former full-time pastor and certified health coach whose passion and mission is to encourage other moms. She blogs at They Call Me Blessed Her goal is to help moms be encouraged, inspired and empowered to be everything God created them to be and to turn from stressed to blessed in no time!
Ana Willis

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