For years I’ve been accused of being antisocial, and often times rude. I admit there’s been times when I’ve been short with people, but not rude, at least never intentionally.
These last few weeks, I’ve come across several articles from Introvert, Dear. I’ve shared them on Facebook, sent links to friends and even quoted them to my kids.Being an introverted mom is lonely. Especially when you are constantly surrounded by normal moms, as woman once pointed out.
Our girls were in the same gymnastics class, and she occasionally made small talk as I read a book. I politely laughed at her jokes and nodded at her comments on the weather, but there was no real connection even when I tried to pay close attention to the conversation. After a few weeks, she got off her chair, and loudly announced she was going to sit on the other side of the room; with the normal moms.
What makes you a normal mom?
I didn’t meet the expectation of motherhood she had in mind.
I was a very young mother at the time, and I did not have as many mom-years under my belt as she did. Sadly, I began to wonder if there was anything wrong with me.
What was a normal mom like?
For years I tried to emulate normal moms. I became a team-mom, the bring-cupcakes-to-school every week mom, the classroom-mom, the PTA mom, the field-trip mom; yet I ran into similar gymnastics-class scenarios in every setting. I just didn’t fit in with the normal moms.
While in conversation with a close child-less friend many years later, she shared her first impressions of me, and why she didn’t see me as a normal mom when we first met.
These are the three things she pointed out:
- Moms hang out in packs.
- Moms are constantly planning play dates for their children.
- Moms talk about their kids incessantly.
Since I didn’t meet these 3 requirements (in her mind) she didn’t believe I was a mother, when in fact at that time, I was the proud mother of 4.
I’m an Introvert
I have a tendency to keep to myself, pack a book everywhere I go, and I often avoid social gatherings.
This gave this friend the impression, that I was antisocial, unfriendly, and even rude. By definition, an antisocial person is “unwilling or unable to associate in a normal or friendly way with other people”. Antisocial people avoid gatherings due to their unwillingness or fear, to interact with others. This does not describe me.
I don’t choose to avoid gatherings due to my inability to communicate, or because I’m simply being unfriendly.
I’m an introvert.
I am self-reflective and very self-aware. I don’t mean this to sound like an insecurity, but rather a strength.
I am comfortable with myself, not concerned with the popular opinion, will not discuss celebrities, the weather or the latest fads. I avoid small talk, but I will talk for hours about topics close to my heart. I’d rather develop friendships in which I can communicate on a deeper level, that could ever be achieved by small talk.
I Am THAT Mom
I am the mom that sits quietly with a book, or with the headphones on.
I am the mom that doesn’t hang out with a pack of other moms.
I am the mom that won’t plan play dates.
I am the mom that doesn’t constantly talk about her kids.
I am the mom others see as antisocial and awkward.
I am the mom that doesn’t always fit the mom mold.
What type of mom are you?
No mater the type, what you and I need to remember is that God created each one of us individually. What we see as strange is exactly what He envisioned.